


TalkinShit

by AtomosphericNonsense



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: A little bit of Klance, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Friendship, a little cracky, chat fic, cursing, paladin brotp, text chat, texting fic, will add more tags as they apply
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-06-15 07:48:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 3,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15408357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtomosphericNonsense/pseuds/AtomosphericNonsense
Summary: The group chat shenanigans of the paladins of Voltron





	1. CHOCOLATE FUDGE SWIRL

**Author's Note:**

> i love chat fics  
> i love voltron  
> this is fun to write  
> fight me

**ThePidgest:** What the actual fuck

**ThePidgest:** Am I being forced to watch right now?????

**MrShiro:** What’s going on?

**ThePidgest:** Lance and Keith are like, eye fucking right in front of me and my salad.

**ThePidgest:** It’s disgusting.

**MrShiro:** You know what's on the top ten list of things I don’t want to know

**ThePidgest:** If I have to go through this all y’all do too

**HerMajesty:** When did Pidge become a southern?

**Hunk:** Wait Lance and Keith finally got together??

**ThePidgest:** If not then what their doing right now is honestly so much worse

**HerMajesty:** But seriously Pidge was that Y’all necessary, I will not have that kind of language in my chat.

**ThePidgest:** Fuck you

**MrShiro:** Pidge!

**ThePidgest:** Fuck you too

**KeiThyBoi:** Me and Lance are what now??

**TheTailer:** What

**TheTailer:** The

**TheTailer:** Fuck

**ThePidgest:** Exactly

**KeiTheyBoi:** WE WERE DOING NO SUCH THING

**TheTailer:** Since when has arguing and brutalizing each other verbally been fucking?

**ThePidgest:** I’ve seen kinkier

**MrShiro:** GUYS CAN YOU NOT

**HerMajesty:** I’m going to have to agree with Shiro on this one, remove your kinks from the chat

**ThePidgest:** The queen hath spoken, Keith Lance it’s been good knowing you, but now you have to boot each other form the chat and into the sun

**Hunk:** Can we have one nice conversation? Just once? Please??

**TheTailer:** We did, remember that one time we discussed ice cream

**TheTailer:** that was it buddy, all the niceness we had gone

**Hunk:** That was not a nice conversation

**TheTailer:** W h a t e v e r d o y o u m e a n ?

**Hunk:** There were way to many death threats for it to be nice

**ThePidgest:** CHOCOLATE FUDGE SWIRL MOTHERFUCKERS

**MrShiro:** YOUR DEATH WITH BE SWIFT

**KeiThyBoi:** I hate this family


	2. 365 Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hunk has news, Shiro gets exposed, Keith sings

**HerMajesty:** Shiro

**TheTailer:** Oooooo someone’s in trouble

**MrShiro:** Yes my dear dear friend

**HerMajesty:** I swear to all that is holy and not if you invite someone over without telling me first I will eject you from my apartment with steel toed boots

**ThePidgest:** OOh and who is this mysterious stranger Shiro has invited over???

  **Hunk:** GuYs!!!!!!!

  **MrShiro:** It was Adam, he’s not mysterious you all know him

  **Hunk:** IHDDHLKJFLIHFLJFLJF

  **KeiThyBoi:** Hunk wth is going on

  **TheTailer:** Yeah Hunk save us from the boring arguments of mom and dad

  **MrShiro:** For the last time me and Allura are not your parents

  **ThePidgest:** Sure Jan

  **HerMajesty:** Pidge, this is getting ridiculous!

  **ThePidgest:** What are you gonna do? Put me in time out

  **KeiThyBoi:** I know for a fact Shiro uses his number 1 dad mug everyday

  **Hunk:** SHAY ASKED ME OUT

  **HerMajesty:** You two weren’t already dating????

  **TheTailer:** FHGLHFLASHFLHFLAFHLJFL

  **ThePidgest:** Cute

  **MrShiro:** Keith why must expose me like that

  **MrShiro:** Also Hunk I am happy for you

  **TheTailer:** Details!!!!!!!!

  **HerMajesty:** Seriously no one else assumed they were already together?

  **Hunk:** She showed up after class with a sunflower and asked if I wanted to hang out sometime

  **Hunk:** ROMANTICALLY

  **ThePidgest:** This is so perfectly you two

  **ThePidgest:** I can’t see how it could have gone any other way

**HerMajesty:** this is actually the most adorable thing i have ever heard in all 23 years of my life

  **KeiThyBoi:** This makes my dead soul feel

  **KeiThyBoi:** And beCause YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHY TAKASHI

  **MrShiro:** Fair

  **TheTailer:** Wait what happened?? I wannnna know

  **TheTailer:** Are you kidding me Keith????

  **HerMajesty:** What just happened

  **TheTailer:** Keith started singing ‘you can’t always get what you want’ directly into my ear

  **ThePidgest:** Kinky

  **TheTailer:** Boiiii

  **Hunk:** Is it too early to change her name in my phone to 345 hearts?

  **ThePidgest:** Yes

  **MrShiro:** No

  **HerMajesty:** Maybe start with her name and one heart

  **Hunk:** Ohhh smart

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One day this will have a plot  
> one day
> 
> Song of the chapter is 'You Can't Always Get What you Want" by the Rolling Stones because Keith sings it.


	3. Straight?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is lost and Hunk has no pants

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's to not being productive in things I actually need to get done. *cheers*

**TheTailer:** Well guess who doesn’t know where they are right now

**HerMajesty:** Lance :(

**KeiThyBoi:** How the hell do you not know where you are?!? 

**TheTailer:** I wish I could tell you 

**MrShiro:** Are you okay?

**TheTailer:** I mean eh, but I think Hunk is worse off

**HerMajesty:** ???????

**TheTailer:** He lost his phone, his shoes and his pants so

**MrShiro:** I’m coming to get you

**HerMajesty:** What even happened???

**TheTailer:** I doN’t kNow

**TheTailer:** Also, Shiro how are you going to get us if we don’t know where we are?

**MrShiro:** Your snapchat location is on

**TheTailer:** Oh can you check to see where Hunk’s phone is?

**MrShiro:** That’s not how it works

**TheTailer:**?????? 

**TheTailer:** Oh my god

**TheTailer:** OH MY GOD

**HerMajesy:** WHAT???

**TheTailer:** WHERE IS PIDGE

**TheTailer:** OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

**ThePidgest:** I’m at my dorm you dumbass i left after Hunk decided his pants would make a nice wig

**ThePidgest:** I have his phone btw 

**ThePidgest:** I took it with me after it fell out of his pocket while his pants were on his head

**ThePidgest:** I wanna say this will be the last time I drink with you guys but we all know that would be a lie

**TheTailer:**

**HerMajesty:** I’m crying

**TheTailer:** Hey Shiro you don’t need to come get us

**MrShiro:** ???

**MrShiro:** Why?

**ThePidgest:** hahahahahahahaha

**KeiThyBoi:** I got them

**HerMajesty:** Oooooooooooooooooo

**ThePidgest:** I am cackling

**TheTailer:** You guys are why I drink

**ThePidgest:** No you drink because you have like two whole self control that your saving for a rainy day

**TheTailer:** I’m flipping you off right now

**ThePidgest:** From Keith’s car?

**TheTailer:** This is Hunk telling you to stop being mean to Lance, he’s delicatejsdklgdhsr;ighare;oigh

**TheTailer:** I am not delicate! For the record

**KeiThyBoi:** Hello yes, this is Hunk, now from Keith’s phone as you can see

**KeiThyBoi:** And today we are coming at you from inside Keith’s car, where a mating ritual between two as Pidge would put it “dweebs” is occuring

**KeiThyBoi:** Notice how they blush

**KeiThyBoi:** _ photo sent _

**KeiThyBoi:** _ photo sent _

**HerMajesty:** This is some quality entertainment

**ThePidgest:** Where can I donate to this documentary effort

**TheTailer:** I hate you guys and Hunk if I wasn’t so hungover I’d throw that phone straight out the window.

**KeiThyBoi:** Straight?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song of the chapter is "Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time" By Panic!AtTheDisco for an over-dramatic portrayal for what most people do in college


	4. Spite Mostly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge is savage, Shiro is tired, and Hunk continues to expose his friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyy early chapter in honor of the new season tomorrow

**Hunk:** Hey guy’s I know it’s early but I’m actually crying right now

**KeiThyBoi:** T e l l  m e  t h e i r  n a m e s  I  w i l l  k i l l  t h e m  r i g h t  n o w

**ThePidgest:** n o t  i f  I  k i l l  t h e m  f i r s t

**TheTailer:** Hold up. Before anyone gets arrested

**TheTailer:** Hunkyboy happy or sad crying?

**Hunk:** happy

**Hunk:** oh so very happy indeed

**Hunk:** I’m at mom and dad’s and I just watched Shiro try to pour a bowl of cereal for almost ten minutes

**MrShiro:** sigh

**Hunk:** The box was empty but he just kept trying to pour it

**MrShiro:** I was up late okay!!!

**ThePidgest:** Hunk, I’m disappointed! Where is the video of this high entertainment

**MrShiro:** Also for the last time we are not your parents!!!

**KeiThyBoi:** ThE mUg tHe MuG!!!!!!!

**MrShiro:** I’m smashing that against a wall right now

**Hunk:** First of all

**Hunk:** _ Video sent _

**Hunk:** Second of all, you are smashing nothing but your own empty promises

**Hunk:** _ image sent _

**ThePidgest:** “smashing my #1 dad mug” he says

**TheTailer:** Currently drinking out of it he is

**MrShiro:** y o u  a r e  a l l  g r o u n d e d

**HerMajesty:** I sleep in once

**ThePidgest:** haha jokes on you for sleeping

**KeiThyBoi:** Hunk why are you even over there?

**HerMajesty:** Pidge!! Sleep is vital to your health

**ThePidgest:** So is drinking water but my veins are straight caffeine 

**Hunk:** I left a folder here I needed for class today

**HerMajesty:** How are you alive

**ThePidgest:** Spite mostly

**TheTailer:** I vote we knock Pidge unconscious and take her to the hospital

**ThePidgest:** Bold of you to assume I can be unconscious

**TheTailer:** fair

**KeiThyBoi:** This is all lies and slander

**KeiThyBoi:** If Pidge never slept how would I have been able to draw on her face last night

**Hunk:** you didn’t

**KeiThyBoi:** _ image sent _

**ThePidgest:** Check yourself before you wreck yourself boy

**TheTailer:** What developments!!

**MrShiro:** I hope that wasn’t in permanent marker

**KeiThyBoi:** ARE YOU KIDDING ME PIDGE

**KeiThyBoi:**  When did you even do this??

**HerMajesty:** What happened? I’m invested now.

**KeiThyBoi:** Grossly inaccurate drawings of human anatomy

**ThePidgest:** That’s alotta big words there buddy you sure you know what they mean?

**KeiThyBoi:** I know what they mean, asshole

**ThePidgest:** Sure dickhead

**KeiThyBoi:** fuck you

**ThePidgest:** We all know I’m not your type

**Hunk:** Are you guys actually fighting or joking?

**ThePidgest:** I would never fight with my emo son

**KeiThyBoi:** I’m older than you!!

**ThePidgest:** So?

**TheTailer:** This family tree confuses me

**ThePidgest:** What doesn’t confuse you??

**HerMajesty:** Hey Pidge could we maybe turn down the savage a bit

**HerMajesty:** It’s too early in the morning for roasting

**ThePidgest:** It’s only early if you went to sleep 

**KeiThyBoi:** YOU DID GO TO SLEEP

**MrShiro:** sigggghhhhhhhhh

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me???? Doing work??? It's less likely then you think!   
> But it actually happened today  
> Yay a miracle
> 
> man I'm excited for the new season! It's gonna be great
> 
> Song of the chapter is: "Ain't No Rest For The Wicked" by Cage the Elephant for Pidge's claims


	5. F a m i l y  G a m e  N i g h t

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Shiro have family game night without the rest of them????!!!!  
> Shock and horror ensues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly really liked the new season but my standards are always low so I get why others didn't

**MrShiro:** Adam’s dead

**ThePidgest:** ???????

**MrShiro:** to me

**KeiThyBoi:** He beat him in monopoly

**TheTailer:** I just spit out my drink

**MrShiro:** He just cheated in monopoly**

**Hunk:** Family game night went well I take it

**HerMajesty:** Oh my god I thought I banned that game from the apartment!???!

**KeiThyBoi:** Adam brought it 

**TheTailer:** How was it family game night if we weren’t invited?????

**TheTailer:** I’m offended?????

**ThePidgest:** I think I actually agree with Lance for once

**ThePidgest:** Don’t call it family game night if it’s just you three bozos 

**MrShiro:** Hey we never called it family game night that was Hunk.

**Hunk:** I mean you and Keith are family and Adam’s your boyfriend and when I asked Keith if her could hang out today he said it was and I quote “F  a m i l y   g a m e   n i g h t” so…

**KeiThyBoi:** This is true

**TheTailer:** Boi

**KeiThyBoi:** Yes

**TheTailer:** Booooooooiiiiiiiiiii 

**ThePidgest:** Oh that’s it

**ThePidgest:** What you don’t think we’re family???!!!

**KeiThyBoi:** we’re friends

**MrShiro:** Keith stop

**KeiThyBoi:** What?? That’s what we are friends…

**HerMajesty:** I’m worried for you

**Hunk:** Run 

**KeiThyBoi:** What do you guys think is going to happen??? 

**KeiThyBoi:** Like what they’re going tosldfijh;IDMGUo;ijgsdjg

**KeiThyBoi:** I love my family and I apoligizeeeee for incinuattttting that i didn’t 

**KeiThyBoi:** I beggkjfbsd;kjhsdgk;jnl

**KeiThyBoi:** how????

**Hunk:** I told you buddy

**HerMajesty:** Please someone give me the play by play to whatever glorious deeds just went down

**HerMajesty:** Please I won’t be back until this afternoon

**TheTalier:** I got this 

**TheTalier:** So when our dear sad mullety Keith sent his traitorous text

**KeiThyBoi:** I hate you

**TheTailer:** No you don’t

**TheTailer:** Me, Pidge, and Hunk were in the elevator on our way to hang out with the  _ broganes™  _

**KeiThyBoi:** WHY we didn’t even have plans for today this is witchcraft 

**TheTailer:** When do we ever actually have plans made

**TheTailer:** We just arrive and plans happen

**TheTalier:** Anyways so me and Pidge sprinted into the apartment, tackled Keith and took his phone. To rectify his mistake. 

**HerMajesty:** I wish I had been there

**KeiThyBoi:** I wish I hadn’t fun fact being tackled HURts

**ThePidgest:** Oh boohoo, now stop sending passive aggressive messages while IN THE room with us and get your ass over here

**ThePidgest:** Shiro found a twister board

**HerMajesty:** Why am I missing out on all this gold

**KeiThyBoi:** This is so sad, Hunk play Despacito

**Hunk:** no

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started this chapter the day after the new season came out and I finally found the time to finish it yayyy
> 
> Song of the chapter is: "Despacito" By Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee for obvious reasons


	6. Party Time Part 1: ROOF

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PLot???? Maybe (shrug)
> 
> The gang is at a party, there are shenanigans abound

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I usually post once a week but I just about missed last week depending on where you count Sundays.  
> Sorry fams but enjoy part 1 of what will surly be a mildly amusing story within this shitpost   
> Enjoy!!

**KeiThyBoi:** Where did you guy’s go?

**KeiThyBoi:** ??????

**KeiThyBoi:** This is the last time I go to a party with you flakes

**TheTailer:** Noooooooo

**TheTailer:** Partttty for everrrrrrr 

**TheTailer:** I’m outsideeeeeee

**ThePidgest:** Keith how hard are you actually looking for us?

**ThePidgest:** I’m in the kitchen with Matt

**ThePidgest:** Bruh

**KeiThyBoi:** I mean admittedly, not that hard. I kinda just glanced around and didn’t see any of you

**HerMajesty:** Keith!! Don’t scold us for your laziness get up and actually look!!!!

**KeiThyBoi:** nah 

**MrShiro:** I AM ON THE ROOF

**ThePidgest:** Boi

**TheTailer:** HOLY SHIT HE IS

**TheTailer:** HEY SHIRO 

**ThePidgest:** lance

**TheTailer:** Oh Right! My bad

**HerMajesty:** Good lord Lance I heard that from the basement

**KeiThyBoi:** How did you even get up there Shiro???

**MrShiro:** I just kind of did 

**MrShiro:** I should get down

**HerMajesty:** Yes you should 

**ThePidgest:** Has anyone seen Hunk? Matt and I have a potion for him

**HerMajesty:** I believe he is with Shay somewhere

**ThePidgest:** oooo

**TheTailer:** Bowchikawowwow 

**Hunk:** We’re in the dining room. I think? Playing Apples to Apples you dirty dirty people

**ThePidgest:** It would hurt if it wasn’t so true

**KeiThyBoi:** Part of me thinks I should get up and help Shiro off the roof but every other part of me is saying couch comfy so

**TheTailer:** Lies I see you up there HEY KEITH

**Hunk:** If I had a nickel for everytime someone ended up on the roof I would have two nickels and that is TWO TOO GODDAMNED MANY

**ThePidgest:** Holy shit wtf Hunk?

**Hunk:** I’m sorry I lost at Apples to Apples and was upset

**HerMajesty:** Did they get off the roof?

**KeiThyBoi:** Yes we did, but Shiro dropped his phone and it’s broken now

**ThePidgest:** Oof 

**KeiThyBoi:** Wasn’t Lance outside?

**HerMajesty:** ?????

**ThePidgest:** Did you suddenly lose the ability to scroll up?? 

**KeiThyBoi:** Yeah but he’s not out here anymore

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is always a good time to write so I hope you the people(I assume, but you may be lizards) enjoy this as well  
> I should be back to my usual sporadic but weekly updates after this but if I fail don't burn any effigies 
> 
> Song of the Chapter: "Rolex" by Ayo & Teo for being THE party song and this being a party 
> 
> for extra credit please imagine drunk Keith and Shiro in shades dancing to Rolex on the roof   
> it didn't happen but it would have been fun if it did


	7. Party Time Part 2: Titanic in the Front Yard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hunky boy sees some things he'd rather he hadn't   
> Shiro is rose  
> other things happen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eyy this chapter is finally out   
> enjoy

**Previously on TalkinShit:** Shiro’s phone is broken. Hunk lost at Apples to Apples. And whEre iS LaNcE????

 

**ThePidgest:** Just go inside and look for him! Why must everything be a fucking ordeal? 

**KeiThyBoi:** But going inside is so much work

**ThePidgest:** Boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

**Hunk:** I need to have my eyes removed

**HerMajesty:** What happened?

**Hunk:** I found Lance

**ThePidgest:** That’s not ominous

**KeiThyBoi:** Oh and where is he?

**TheTailor:** Oh and why do you suddenllly caree so much abouuut where I amm?????

**KeiThyBoi:** Fine whatever

**HerMajesty:** What the heckty heck happened

**ThePidgest:** watch your fucking language Allura

**Hunk:** I go to get Shay’s coat because she is chilly 

**HerMajesty:** Awww

**Hunk:** And I find Lance and Nyma 

**ThePidgest:** I can feel Keith’s scowl from here

**KeiThyBoi:** Why would I scowl

**TheTailor:** I tolD YoU HunK It wasn’t what it looked like!!!

**Hunk:** Oh so you weren’t drunkenly hooking up with Nyma in the well traversed coat room????

**TheTailor:** I mean I can see how you could think that was what was happening

**TheTailor:** Because it was

**TheTailor:** But I certainly hadn’t planned on it

**ThePidgest:** I mean does anyone plan on drunken makeouts in easily caught places?

**TheTailor:** Facts

**TheTailor:** She just said she had something she wanted to show me. I thought it was like something funny or morbidly weird but instead she just kissed me and things got out of hand

**HerMajesty:** Oh lord

**TheTailor:** Right?

**HerMajesty:** No Shiro’s recreating the Titanic in the front yard and I think Keith just left??

**TheTailor:** Keith left?

**HerMajesty:** Well I saw dark hair and red cropped jacket speed walking down the street

**Hunk:** Making my way downtown

**KeiThyBoi:** Oh and why do you suddenly care about where I am?

**Hunk:** Walking fast

**TheTailor:** I don’t?

**Hunk:** Walking faster

**ThePidgest:** Did you mean to type that question mark?

**KeiThyBoi:** I’m tired, bye

**HerMajesty:** No one else is even phased by Shiro screaming never let go jack at this stray cat?

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully I'll be able to resume my usual schedule but senior year is hitting me like two bricks and a sandwich
> 
> Song of the Chapter: "My Heart Will Go On" by Seline Dion because Shiro's heart will go on


	8. The Closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is back in the closet? Shiro is hungover and Pidge is Pidge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha whoops  
> I'MMMMM BAAACKK

**TheTailor:** GuuuuuYYYsss help

**TheTailor:** Sos 911 someone HELP

**ThePidgest:** WAT

**ThePidgest:** TE

**ThePidgest:** FUK

**ThePidgest:** Happened now?

**TheTailor:** I’m hiding in some supply closet because Rolo found out about Nyma jumping me in the coat room at that party last week

**ThePidgest:** This seems like a you problem

**Hunk:** What do you want us to do buddy?

**TheTailor:** I don’t know I just don’t want to die in this supply closet over a hookup with Nyma!

**HerMajesty:** What building are you in? 

**MrShiro:** I still feel hungover from that party

**TheTailor:** Mamora Hall

**Hunk:** I thought you felt hungover because of that bottle of jack you almost finished last night

**ThePidgest:** Jesus Christ Shiro it’s a tuesday

**MrShiro:** Adam dumped me

**TheTailor:** How? 

**MrShiro:** He said he needed ‘space’ 

**TheTailor:** No I mean how did he physically stomach breaking up with the greatest person in the universe

**TheTailor:** Like wtf

**ThePidgest:** You and Adam broke up????

**ThePidgest:** Oh no I’m so sad

**ThePidgest:** Let me go and tell my single brother this tragic™ and heartbreaking news

**Hunk:** Pidge 

**ThePidgest:** What? It’s not like the guy even had a personality, Shiro you can do way better

**MrShiro:** Thanks you guys but I think I’m gonna go back to crying in my room in the dark 

**ThePidgest:** I will bring you ice cream and my folder of videos of Lance being embarrassing

**MrShiro:** Thank you kind gremlin

**TheTailor:** HEY

**Hunk:** Are you still in that closet

**TheTailor:** Only physically

**TheTailor:** Oh or not, I guess

**Hunk:** Cool

**ThePidgest:** Remember that time Lance was doing shots of Tequila and we dared him to do a handstand and not only did he fuck that up royally but he immediately threw up after?

**MrShiro:** Yes?

**ThePidgest:** Well I have that and more in stunning iphone quality

**MrShiro:** I’m too hungover and sad to be an adult about this

**MrShiro:** Bring it on over!

**HerMajesty:** Lance where are you? I’m down the street from the building are you alive?

**TheTailor:** I’m okay, Keith showed up

**ThePidgest:** Oh thank god, now maybe you two will start talking again you morons

**HerMajesty:** Well I guess I’ll go home then

**ThePidgest:** Give me a ride back to your place please?

**HerMajesty:** Sure I’m in the west lot

**Hunk:** Does this mean Keith is over the whole making out with Nyma thing

**KeiThyBoi:** As i’ve said on multiple occasions, why would I care about Lance and Nyma?

**ThePidgest:** I don’t know Keith why did you stop talking to Lance for a week?

**TheTailor:** Pidge don’t you have embarrassing videos of me to be showing Shiro

**ThePidgest:** You win this round but I’ll be back

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have reasons I swear. Side note, I'm just going to ignore canon like always.
> 
> Song of the chapter is: "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter because no one was having fun this chapter except me


	9. Regret Part 1: The Bar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith is drunk and Lance is confused

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is actually having some semblance of a plot now. Exciting

**KeiThyBoi:** Heyyyyyyyyyyyy Lancce

**TheTailer:** Oh no

**ThePidgest:** This’ll be the one time I regret not going out drinking

**ThePidgest:** Drunk Keith is such a lovely rarity

**Hunk:** Trust me you do not want to be experiencing this first hand right now

**HerMajesty:** I’m with Hunk, we always forget because of how little it happens but uninhibited Keith is rare for a reason

**KeiThyBoi:** STAPHHH TALKING ABOUT ME LIKE I’M NOT HERE U DIPSHITS

**HerMajesty:** Ouch

**ThePidgest:** Is Shiro with you guys?

**Hunk:** Yeah

**ThePidgest:** Still sad about the most anticlimactic breakup ever? 

**Hunk:** yep

**KeiThyBoi:** rihjt now  hes lookn for anther strat catt

**ThePidgest:** Do I even want to know what the fuck he just said?

**Hunk:** Sigh, Shiro is trying to convince us to leave this bar and find another cat for him to love

**TheTailor:** Furry

**Hunk:** Leave him alone Lance he’s sad

**KeiThyBoi:** YEAH LAncE dont you ha ve betere rthisngf to be doing ike bgeing beaubton

**ThePidgest:** What bar are you guys at?

**ThePidgest:** I must see smashed Keith™ 

**Hunk:** You know what, we’re at Bii-boh’s I’m too sober to watch this alone

**KeiThyBoi:** LANCE

**TheTailor:** ?

**KeiThyBoi:** I hattttttte you uuuuuuuuuuuu

**HerMajesty:** Sure you do

**KeiThyBoi:** Commmmmmmme gto the barr with Pidgy 

**TheTailor:** I’m gonna pass on that one chief 

**MrShiro:** Come on Lance maybe if you’re here he’ll shut up about you

**KeiThyBoi:** SHIROOOOO

**MrShiro:** Whattt

**KeiThyBoi:** : (

**HerMajesty:** Take away his phone before he starts saying things he’ll regret in the morning

**ThePidgest:** If you take away his phone I will personally pour ice down your pants

**HerMajesty:** Pidge!

**ThePidgest:** Oh stop being so responsible

**ThePidgest:** A little regret is good for the soul

**ThePidgest:** Besides I don’t think he’d regret it long

**KeiThyBoi:** Are youu guys talkingg abut me??

**MrShiro:** Yes they are

**KeiThyBoi:** Rude

 

**ThePidgest:** Okay I’m here where are you fuckers

**Hunk:** Towards the back 

**KeiThyBoi:** Is Lannce wit you?

**TheTailor:** No I am at home watching netflix and enjoying the fact that I will not be hungover tomorrow

**KeiThyBoi:** Awww but I wanted to see you

**TheTailor:** Why? 

**KeiThyBoi:** Because I wantlbsdgsdghsdakfakfjasfjasfjasfjafsjasfj

**TheTailor:** Keith?

**Hunk:** Keith cannot come to the phone right now, his phone has been confiscated

**TheTailor:** Why?

**MrShiro:** None of your concern heartbreaker

**TheTailor:** I am so confused right now

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My my, a plot in my shit post I guess it's about as likely as you'd think!
> 
> Song of Chapter is: "Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!" By ABBA but I have honestly only ever listened to the version from the Mamma Mia! movie. This song was selected for obvious reasons.

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea where this is going but i'm just excited for the journey


End file.
